Teacher: Are you good in history?
Little Johnny: Yes and no.
Teacher: What does that mean?
Little Johnny: Yes, I’m no good in history.
Two guys are standing on a rooftop. The first one looked down and asked, "Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?"
Second one then also looked down and said, "Well, it's pretty high up here. I think it would take at least five days!"
"Really? Okay, here's another one," continues the first. "Do you think if I would die after I jump?"
"Of course you would, five days! How could you survive that long without water?!"
There was a sign on the wall for the economic use of the company's copy machine, "Copy & Print in Black & White only, please!"
Someone crossed off the word "black" later on.
Do you know why "pregnancy" lasts for nine months?
Because the word pregnancy is composed of 9 letters...
I know you are going to count it.