A snobby man looked at me at a party and said, "You look poor!"
"Well," I clarified, "I've got an outfit for everyday of the week."
"Do you really?" he replied.
I said, "Yes. It's this one!"
As I was eating a piece of Christmas chocolate my wife told me about an article she had read about chocolate.
Seems that the article indicated that for every piece of chocolate one eats that your life is reduced by 2 minutes.
By this standard I figure that I have been dead since 1875.
Thank you student loans for getting me through college...
I don't think I can ever pay you back.