Greg: Did you hear about the accident at the Army camp?
Mike: No, what happened?
Greg: A Jeep ran over a popcorn box and killed two kernels.
There was a captain of a ship who carried around a mysterious black box. Despite repeated questions from his crew, he refused to tell anyone what was inside the box. Years went by, and the mystery of the box grew and grew. It was all the crew could talk about. What was in that mysterious black box?
One day a big storm quickly approached. The wind howled, and the ship was tossed on huge waves. Suddenly, a wave washed across the deck and swept the captain overboard. He disappeared from view and was never seen again.
As soon as the storm passed, a sailor went to the captain's cabin and retrieved the box. The entire crew circled around as he opened it and removed the only contents, a small piece of paper.
On the paper was written, "Starboard is right, port is left."
Heard on a London Bus:
"When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.
If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
My new friend has a very Irish name...
O'Really?