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Favorite this joke Slim walks into his local post office and notices a new sign on the wall:
MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA
"Gosh!" he says, "If only that job was in Texas, I'd take it!"
He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years, having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, both of them throwing admiring glances across the table. Finally, he picked up courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes, yes I will!"
The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. But the next morning he was troubled. Did she say "Yes" or did she say "No"? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. With fear he picked up the phone and called her. "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
She replied, "Why you silly man, I said 'Yes, yes I will!' And I am so glad you called, because I couldn't remember who asked me!"
(Grand Kids) Hey grandpa, I thought we were going camping! This is a three star hotel!
(Grand Mother responds) Trust me kids, anything under four stars feels like camping.
(Husband) Hey Peaches!
(Wife) Yes chubby cheeks!
(Husband) Please don't call me chubby cheeks!
(Wife) OK, please don't call me peaches!
(Husband) Fine if you promise not to call me chubby cheeks! I'm putting the move on here, are you about ready plum cakes?
(Wife) I'LL BE RIGHT THERE LOBSTER CLAWS!!!
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