Best Jokes

"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy showed up one day in a snappy new suit. "Where'd you pick 'em up?"

Richard beamed. "My wife got them for me. Pretty sharp, huh?"

"I'll say. What was the occasion?"

"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I came home from work early the other day and there they were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."

A newly married couple was having breakfast at their new apartment when the next door neighbor hung out laundry that appeared to still be dirty.

The new wife commented to her husband that their neighbor did not how to properly do laundry, how to put in correct amount of bleach. detergent, etc. She made this comment every Monday for the next month. Finally, one day, the neighbor's wash appeared to be perfectly clean. The new wife commented on this and said the whole load looked really good.

The husband then replied, "Honey, I got up early today and washed our windows."

It seems that the older we are the more we read the Bible...

Are we cramming for finals?

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going, and she replied, "I'm going to Las Vegas."

He questioned her as to why and she told him, "I just found out that I can make $400 a night doing what I give you for free."

He pondered for a while, went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch with his wife. She said, "And just where do you think you are going?"

He replied, "I'm going too."

"Why?" she asked.

He said, "I want to see how you're going to live on $800 a year."