Best Jokes

I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today...

His mom got really angry!

A mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”

Interviewer: "How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?"

Me: "That’s when I went to Yale..."

Interviewer: "That’s impressive. You are hired."

Me: "Thanks. I really need this yob."

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

"No sun."