Best Jokes

The tourist, after stepping off the train in Kansas City and desperately holding on to his hat, "Wow, does the wind always blow this way out here?"

"Nah," said the driver solemnly, "it blows this way for six months of the year, and then it turns round and blows the other direction."

As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son the proud father said, "Now is as good of time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally, but never, never, never get drunk."

"Yes sir," replied his dutiful son, "but how am I to know when I am drunk?"

"Well, you see those two men over there in the corner?" said the father. "If you were to see four men, you'd know you were drunk."

"Dad, let me have the keys," grinned the son. "There's only one guy over there."

Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?

Because they can't afford new ones!

A kindhearted judge was commiserating with the wife. "Your husband really has a problem. Has he ever tried Alcoholics Anonymous?"

"I'm sure he has," she nodded sadly. "That man will drink anything."