A wife served some homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast and waited eagerly for her husband’s reaction.
When none was immediately forthcoming, she asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”
Without looking up from his newspaper, he replied, “About ten years.”
I went on a date with a girl who said she loved animals.
I said, "I work with animals every day."
She said, "That's so sweet. What do you do?"
I replied, "I'm a butcher!"
We never went on a second date.
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy...
So I moved the modem to the barn.
Now I have stable WiFi!
A little girl won two goldfish at a fair. When the family arrived home, her mother asked her what she was going to call them.
“I think I’ll call them One and Two,” said the little girl.
“They’re unusual names for goldfish. Why have you chosen them?”
”Because if One dies, I’ll still have Two!”