Latest Jokes

How can you tell you’re getting old?

You go to an antiques auction and three people bid on you.

Have you ever wondered...

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Wayne was returning home from a business trip, bags in hand, and slowly making his way to his vehicle in the crowded airport garage. Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly at him. "Get in," the driver ordered. "I'll take you to your car."

Startled, Wayne took a step backward. "Ah...no thanks," he answered. "I can get there myself."

"No!" the man barked back as he threw open his passenger side door. "Get in!"

Wayne's eyes now darted around the garage, hoping to find a security guard.

Just then, the driver's face softened. "Please," he said, "I've been driving up and down for two hours. I can't find a space to park, and I want yours."