An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.
He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.
John: Do you know how many children a family would have if the husband had to share in the labor and delivery?
Fred: No I have no idea.
John: They would only have three. The woman would have the first one, the husband the second and the wife would have the third. There would be no more because the husband has no intention of going through it again.
Yo Momma so dumb...
That she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
On the farm where I was raised, home canning was a big thing. Most folks had a garden and ate out of it all summer, the surplus was put up in bottles for the winter.
The common saying was:
"WE EAT WHAT WE CAN, AND WHAT WE CAN'T, WE CAN."