What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi!
The teacher asked her student to write on the chalkboard the number 55. The student asked, "How do I do that?"
Teacher replied, "Write down the number 5, and beside it add another 5."
The student wrote one 5 and stopped. The teacher inquired, "What's wrong?"
"I don't know which side to write the other 5?"
"Hey, man! Please call me a taxi."
"You got it! (Pause) Sir, YOU are a taxi!"
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
While you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it all.
Sincerely,
The Opportunist