What did Santa say when Mrs. Claus asked what the weather was going to be like on Christmas Day?
He said, "Rain, Dear."
People who take high blood pressure medication are doing the right thing...
They are putting the heart before the hearse!
Mother: "Why did you swallow the money I gave you?"
Son: "Well, you said that the money was for lunch!"
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in an hour?
The letter 'M'.