Son to dad: "Dad, why don’t you buy me a car?"
Dad: "My dear son, God gave you two legs for what purpose?"
Son: "One leg is for the brake and the other for the accelerator."
I ate a box of Thin Mints.
I didn’t get any thinner.
I don’t think they work.
A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.”
The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk!”
The horse says, “Me neither!”
Miser to son: "Son, how much did it cost when you took your girlfriend to dinner yesterday?"
Son: "Dad, it was only $25.00."
Dad: "Oh, that’s not too bad."
Son: "It would've been more, but that was all the money she had on her."