My wife ran away with my best friend. A year later both of them were at my front door ringing the bell. They rang the bell for an hour straight. Reluctantly I answered the door.
They said they wanted to apologize for the way things happened. Boy, was I relieved, I thought he was trying to bring her back.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast!
I just did a computer rendition of what I'd look like fifty years from now.
Apparently fifty years from now I'll look like a hand full of dirt.