Teacher: "What is a nitrate?"
Little Johnny: "I'm not sure, but it's NOT cheaper than a day rate!"
Teacher: What is the lowest frequency noise that a human can register?
Little Johnny: A mouse.
Teacher: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?
Little Johnny: Mariah Carey.
A man was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper.
Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion. But after a particularly long pause, he explained, "I'm sorry. I can't seem to make out what I've written down."
Looking out into the audience, he asked, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"