There is something wrong with my cell phone...
It doesn't have your number in it.
I told my wife that there is only one thing that scares me on Halloween.
My wife: Which is?
Me: Exactly!
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner.
So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII.
“We have regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”