Latest Jokes

Three prominent politicians in boarded the same flight to from New York to England.

The first Politician started, “I can throw one $1000 note down and make one person laugh.”

“I can make two persons laugh with just two $500 notes.” the second politician replied.

The third politician retorted, “With just five pieces of $200 I can make five people laugh.”

The pilot then looked at the politicians and added, “I’m the pilot here, meaning I can throw all of you down and make more than 150 million people laugh.”

The conversation starts between girl and boy:

Boy: Do you have pen?

Girl: No,I don't have.

Boy: Do you have a pen?

Girl: She became angry and replied and no no I don't have a pen.

Again after sometime the boy asked; do you have a pen?

Girl: No! NO... again if you ask once I will hit you by a hammer?

Boy: Do you have a hammer?

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Suzy Lee fell in love. She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy about it all, she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal" you'll have to find another. I'd just as soon yo maw don't know, but Joe is yo half-brother.

So Suzie forgot about her Joe and planned to marry Will.

But after telling pappy this, he said "There's trouble still." You can't marry Will, my gal and please don't tell yo mother, cause Will and Joe and several mo I know is yo half-brother."

But mama knew and said "Honey chile, do what makes yo happy. Marry Will or marry Joe, You ain't no kin to pappy!"