Mr. Jones: My new loaded SUV isn’t worth a hill of beans.
Mr. Smith: What are you talking about?
Mr. Jones: Food prices.
Our catering manager lacks certain social skills...like knowing when to keep her mouth shut. While discussing a baby christening party with a young couple, she told the mother, "You look like you've lost most of your pregnancy weight."
"Thanks," came the clenched-teeth reply. "We adopted."
What is a foot fetishist’s favorite snack?
Free-toes
A guy runs into a bar and just starts jogging in circles around the interior with his eyes shut.
"Holy crap! That's Bob, and I think he's sleep walking. Heck, he's sleep running!" the waitress exclaims to the bartender.
"He sure is fast asleep," the bartender replied.