“My town is so small …”
“How small is it?”
“My town was so small it only has a gas station, a general store … and six Starbucks!”
Question: What's the name of the Greek god of humor?
Answer: Hilarios.
A man was boasting to his kids that when he was young, the young ladies would be chasing after him.
The kids (naturally) went to the man’s mother and asked if it were true. The grandma says, “Well, kids, it’s mostly true but I wouldn’t quite put it like that.”
“How would you put it, grandma?” asked the kids.
“I’d say the young ladies were chasing him AWAY!”
A man is arrested for stealing a can of peaches and is brought before the judge.
The judge asks, “How many peaches were in the can?”
The man replies, “Six, Your Honor.”
“In that case, you will go to jail for six days, one for each peach.”
Hearing that, his wife stands and says, “Your Honor, he also stole a can of peas.”