Latest Jokes

"My wife and I have always had a give and take relationship but since we had the baby she seems to have learned how to soften me up and gets her way more often which I'm very OK with really."

"Changed behavior is usually learned behavior; whose she been hanging out with lately?" asked my best friend.

"The Baby."

A friend of mine was visiting a college, which had those security call boxes every few hundred feet. If you were wandering around the campus at night and felt uneasy about somebody following you, for instance, you could hit the button and have a security officer come investigate immediately.

On one of these phones hung a sign that said, "Out of Order."

Underneath it someone had scrawled . . . "Keep Running!"

A man on a business trip to Florida decided to play golf on Saturday. Half way through the first 9 he knocked a ball off the course. After retrieving it he noticed the four guys playing behind him were looking at him the same time three of them were giving the fourth one five bucks each.

“Were you guys betting on me?" asked the Out-of-Towner.

The guy with cash in hand said, “Let me put it this way, when locals hit one in the rough we leave it there.”