A sailor was swallowed by a whale and lived to tell the tale.
When asked by a reporter what the scariest part was he answered, "The graffiti... someone wrote 'Pinocchio was here.'"
When I was 20, "What am I doing here?" was an important existential question.
Now that I am 66, "What am I doing here?" involves staring at an open refrigerator.
"Your call is very important to us...
... Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo."
I called Animal Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing four kittens."
“That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”
“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were that would explain the suitcase.”