I bet my friends I'd witnessed a 200 pound flying squirrel streaking above the bright lights of Hollywood...
I ended up losing that bet, it turned out to be Superman leaving a costume party.
A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.
"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a coin that far!"
"You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot farther in those days."
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
Switching my car into reverse and speeding away!
A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use."
After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.”