What’s the difference between a mirror and a chatterbox?
One reflects without talking, the other talks without reflecting.
What’s the difference between a 16 ounces and a pianist?
One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
What’s the difference between a simple person and a pizza?
One is easy to cheat, the other is cheesy to eat.
I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my house. My sister pulled into the driveway, greeted me, and looked over my work.
"Wow," she gushed, "you're an expert."
Feeling complimented and satisfied, but trying not to seem egotistical, I responded... "Once you get going, it's pretty easy!"
She looked puzzled and wondering if I'd misunderstood her I asked, "What did you just say?"
She replied, "I said your neck's burnt!"
Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?
He lost May.