Latest Jokes

I tried to pay cash at the plagiarism store.

But they only take credit.

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with you?" Fred had many reservations about this, but reluctantly agreed.

Upon arriving at the hunting site, Fred carefully sat Jack safely up in the tree stand and told him, "If you see a deer, aim carefully and I'll run back as soon as I hear the shot." Jack obliged as Fred then left. Not ten minutes had passed when Fred suddenly heard an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Fred started running back; as he drew closer, he began to hear his son shouting, "Hey, get away from my deer!" Bewildered, Fred ran faster towards his screaming son, hearing another cry of, "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire.

Upon reaching the area, Fred was surprised to see a man with his hands in the air, standing across from his son. The man trembled a bit, then said, "Okay, you can have your deer, just let me take my saddle off of it first."

Where do you find giant snails?

On the ends of a giant's fingers.

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!"

"The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end coolly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number."