Latest Jokes

DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom.

ME: *pulls into rest stop*

DAUGHTER: Thanks.

ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes.

DAUGHTER: I will.

ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once.

DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother.

ME: Exactly.

What do you call a pan of wiggling cinnamon rolls?

Abundance!

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.

8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.

Places I'd Rather Not Live...

- Paradox, New York
- Crapo, Maryland

- Boogertown, North Carolina
- Hellhole, Idaho
- Purgatory, Maine

- Girdletree, Maryland
- Rabbithash, Kentucky