The relatives of the family's rich dowager gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.

"Being of sound mind," read the lawyer, "I spent every last cent before I died."

A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store.

On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob."

He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started clanging.

As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."

A kindergarten teacher at age 30 was talking to the children seated on the floor around her. She then removed her glasses to clean them.

"Wow, Miss Collins!" one child exclaimed. "You look really different without your glasses on!"

Another child piped up, "I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!"

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled: "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away: "Hello! We're down here..."