At work I've got the ear of my boss...
I'm still not convinced we should pay the ransom.
A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on Main Street when the door of the hearse flies open, the coffin falls out, speeds down Main Street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter.
The lid pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"
A knitting/crocheting group at a local senior center donated handmade hats and scarves to my office to give to folks in need over the holidays.
What made my day was their group name: The Senior Hookers!
A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter.
She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".
She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally involved... I just want to smell nice."