The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"

Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story.

After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"

A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"

"Relax," says the doctor, "you're just having an auto-body experience."

I came home from work last night exhausted. I said to my wife, "I need my glasses checked. I'm so nearsighted I nearly worked myself to death."

Perplexed, the wife asked, "What's being nearsighted got to do with working yourself to death?"

"I couldn't tell whether the boss was watching me or not, so I had to work the whole time!"

The new Ensign was assigned to a submarine, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy.

He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School.

The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."