When he saw how astronomically high his latest phone bill was, the head of house called a family meeting.
“This is unacceptable,” said the father. ”You have to limit the use of the phone. I never use this phone. I always use the one in the office.”
The mother said, ”Same here. I hardly use the home phone, because I use my work phone.”
The son said, ”Me, too. I never use the home phone. I always use the company's mobile."
”So what is the problem?” asked the maid. ”We all use our work telephones.”
Two eskimos were chatting. One said, “Where did your mother come from?”
“Alaska.”
“Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!”
A man went to the doctor with a mystery ailment.
The doctor asked: "Do you drink to excess?"
The man replied: "I’ll drink to anything."
A man was staggering home drunk in the early hours of the morning when he was stopped by a police officer.
“What are you doing out at this time of night?” asked the officer.
“I’m going to a lecture,” said the drunk.
“And who’s going to be giving a lecture at this hour?”
“My wife.”