A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, "Well, my Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?"

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman, and she couldn't possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

The quick-thinking minister's wife answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to greet her."

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

A motorist was on trial for striking a pedestrian. The motorist's lawyer made this point, "Your honor, my client has been driving for over thirty years."

To which the lawyer for the plaintiff retorted, "Your honor, if we are going to judge this case by experience, may I remind you that my client has been walking for over 55 years!"

My books all piled on top of me, I've only got my shelf to blame.