I feel like I'm in a rut. Every time I go to bed at night, I find myself just getting up again in the morning.

Dewey dragged himself into his doctor's office one day looking very exhausted. "Doctor," he said, "there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep!"

"I have good news for you, Dewey," the doctor said, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that were just approved. They work like a dream. Just a few of these and your troubles will be over."

"Great," said Dewey, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

The doctor gave him the pills. Dewey thanked him and left.

Two weeks later, Dewey came back to the doctor's office looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than ever!" Dewey exclaimed.

"I don't understand how that could be," said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered Dewey wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one, it's really hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

About all you can get with a nickel these days is heads or tails.

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.