"I'm a walking economy," a man was overheard saying...

"My hairline's in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they're putting me in a deep depression."

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Man: I just got back from a real pleasure trip.

Friend: Where did you go?

Man: I took my mother-in-law to the airport!

Financially I'm set for life...

Provided I don't live past next Wednesday!