During a Christmas exam, one of the questions was: What causes a depression?
One of the students wrote: "God knows! I don't. Merry Christmas!"
The exam paper came back with the prof's notation: "God gets 100. You get zero. Happy New Year."
"Can you stand on your head?"
"Nope. It's too high."
Young Husband (in the early morning): "It must be time to get up."
Wife: "Why do you say that?"
Husband: "Baby's fallen asleep."
"Do you believe marriage is a lottery?"
"No... it's not. In a lottery, a man is supposed to have a chance."