The patient staggered to the pharmacy counter flinching.
“Say, would you give me something for my head?” The pharmacist looked up.
“Why? What would I do with it?”

“This little computer,” said the a sales clerk, “will do half your job for you.”
The senior manager studying the machine made his decision; “Fine, I’ take two.”

The policeman was interviewing the man whose store had jus been robbed.
“It’s bad,” said the owner, “but it’s not as bad as it would have been if he’d robbed me yesterday.”
“Why is that?” the policeman asked
“Because today everything was on sale.”

The missionary arrived in the cannibal village on Saturday, and by Monday night he was history. Looking through his belongings, one of the natives found a magazine and without missing a beat began tearing out pictures of people and popping them in is mouth.
Seeing what he was doing, a friend asked, “So…how’s the dehydrated stuff?”