To increase his tips the local bartender posted the following:
PHONE NOTIFICATION FEES (ADD $1.00 TO INSERT NAME)
$1.00 HE NOT HERE!
$2.00 ON HIS WAY OUT!
$3.00 HE JUST LEFT!
$4.00 HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ALL DAY!
$5.00 WHO?
PAY BARTENDER UPON ARRIVAL AT BAR.