Son: “Dad, I want to be in politics when I grow up.”
Dad: “Are you insane? Have you completely lost your mind? Are you a moron?”
Son: “Forget it, there seem to be too many requirements.”
I gorged on 14 cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Ended up having a crippling vowel movement!
I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order.
I then picked the movie and pizza because I'm the one with the money.
I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined...
Wednesday is open Mike night!