Past Winners

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.

He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.

Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"

I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined...

Wednesday is open Mike night!

Pete: Someone just stole $125 worth of groceries from my Jeep!

Bob: Well, your Jeep has no top. What did you expect?

Pete: No, no, it wasn't that... I forgot to lock my glove box!

My niece, Sue, plans to open a discount grocery store where everything expires in a week...

She's going to call it Best By...