Past Winners

Bacon was definitely the 
first-round draft pick in the BLT...

No one’s building a sandwich around lettuce!

I work for a security company that transports cash, and part of my job is to work with police if a crew is robbed. One afternoon my wife and I were packing to move, when I received a call to report to a crime scene.

"I have to go," I told my wife. "Two of our guards have been held up at gunpoint at a superstore."

As I dashed out the door, she called, "While you’re there, pick up some big cardboard boxes."

Drunkard #1: I will become the chief prime minister tomorrow!

Drunkard #2: That's impossible... I haven't resigned yet.

"Doctor, the problem is obesity runs in our family."

"No, the problem is no one runs in your family."