Past Winners

Dear Winter,

I'm breaking up with you. I think it is time I start seeing other seasons.

Besides, Summer is much HOTTER than you!

I went back to my home town a decided to visit the house I grew up in.

I ask the occupants if I could come inside. They said, "No!"

My parents can be so grouchy some times.

A middle aged man was visibly shaken when his Doctor advised that he had only six month's to live because of a terminal disease that was detected during a recent physical check-up.

The Doctor suggested that he should get his "house in order", make sure his will was current and ensure all final arrangements were in place for the funeral. He should then make plans to enjoy what might be left of his life, to the fullest.

"What will you do for the last six months?" asked the Doctor.

His patient thought for a few minutes then replied, "I think I'll go and live with my Mother-in-law".

Surprised by the answer, the Doctor asked, "Of all people, why in the would you want to live with your Mother-in-law?"

"Because it'll be the longest six months of my life!"

There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. "Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?" I asked.

"What’s the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week."

"So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around."