Past Winners

A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?”

His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.”

Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember that you have two activities as homework today.”

The kid replied, “I will do one of them. One is enough to keep me busy at study time.”

My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first evening she phoned me. I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating.

“A cupcake,” she mumbled. “I just got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it off to 150.”

Teacher : Which is the oldest animal?

Student : The zebra.

Teacher : How come?

Student : Because it's still in black & white.

An item for sale on craigslist....

"Antique sewing table refinished by my wife, $30. [If she’s home, $100.]"