Past Winners

My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.”

“I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.

I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty nester. One night I was trying out an art project: making a person with simple materials.

I took a coat hanger, attached a paper-plate face, put a shirt on the hanger and stuffed it. Then I sat it on the couch to see how it looked.

Later that evening my son walked in the door, home for a surprise visit. Taking one look at my coat-hanger friend sitting on the couch, he said, "Mom, it’s not that bad, is it?"

Man: What, according to you, is Philosophy?

Friend: Philosophy are the ideas that act as guides for the best ways to live.

Man: So do you follow them?

Friend: No. I want everyone else to follow.

Film Producer: I am going to make a movie. Can you suggest a 'heart-touching' title?

Scriptwriter: I got it... Stethoscope!