The photographer was positioning my new husband and me for
our wedding photos when he asked, “Have you ever modeled?”
My cheeks instantly turned red. “No, I haven’t,” I said. “But I always thought …”
The photographer interrupted me, “I meant him.”
My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.
Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
"It’s the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner’s ready."
The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.
"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."
"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"
A motivational speaker, while addressing his audience, talked about the various achievements man has made today.
He said, "Today, man has built a ship to cross an ocean, fastest trains to travel across cities, and built planes to fly high in the skies like a bird..."
A gentleman from the audience interrupted, "Any yet, a man still cannot sit on a barbed wire like a bird does!"