holiday jokes

Dear Santa,

For this year I'm requesting a BIG bank account and a SMALL body.

P.S. Please don't mix them up like you did last year.

This Christmas, I told my girlfriend that all I wanted was an Xbox, nothing more. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, one Xbox.

You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together.

Which was fine... because I bought her an Xbox.

Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?

Because they are rain deer.

A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company.

The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.

The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."