misc jokes

Q: What is a bus ?
A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible. With fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "I
think it's Adam's suit!!!!!"

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual Federal (U.S.) employee performance evaluations:
- "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
- "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
- "He would argue with a signpost."
- "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
- "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
- "Takes him two hours to watch 60 minutes."