misc jokes

Did you know that "verb" is a noun?

If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren't two houses hice?

Why is the plural of goose-geese, and not the plural of moose-meese?

Q: What did the cook say to the dough?
A: I "NEED" you!

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week?
A: A widow.

One man asked a schoolboy, "How old is your father?"
The boy replied, "He is 8 years old."
Man: "What?"
Boy: "Because he became a father when I was born 8 years ago."