relationship jokes

A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going, and she replied, "I'm going to Las Vegas."

He questioned her as to why and she told him, "I just found out that I can make $400 a night doing what I give you for free."

He pondered for a while, went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the porch with his wife. She said, "And just where do you think you are going?"

He replied, "I'm going too."

"Why?" she asked.

He said, "I want to see how you're going to live on $800 a year."

Sometimes... when you cry... no one sees your tears .

Sometimes... when you are worried... no one sees your pain.

Sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile.

But fart just one time...

After having a great time with his girlfriend, a young man saw a guy’s photo in her bag and asked,
"Is he your ex?"

The girlfriend kissed him and said, "No dear, that's me before surgery."

Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one replied, "Oh, no. Not in the slightest."

"You must be a saint!" commented the second.

To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of people don't like their own cooking."