religious jokes

A deacon is in the hospital and his good friend, a preacher, goes to visit him. The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed. The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies.

At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, "I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here." The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, "Please, get up. You're kneeling on my oxygen hose."

At a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison choir would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity, so I looked forward to hearing them.

The next evening, I was puzzled when members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.

"This is our prison choir," he said, "they're behind a few bars and always looking for the key."

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. There, he sees St. Peter at the entrance.

Before he went in, Peter stopped him and said, "Sorry, but you have told too many lies to be allowed here."

The man looked at him sadly and said, "Have a heart, you were once a fisherman yourself."

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple.

But with extremely limited memory.

Just 1 byte.

Then everything crashed.