religious jokes

Did you know that Adam and Eve were the first couple to not read and understand the fine print on their Apple contract?

When Adam stayed out late for a few nights, Eve became suspicious and upset. "You're running around with other women, aren't you?" she accused.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth."

The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam asked, half asleep.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.

He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.

When the service was over, he went to greet people at the front door. Three different adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how, after the worship service, he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the
church building.

Therefore, he was slightly annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," said the minister. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in difficulty. The roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star-Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist.