religious jokes

Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest...

Forgive me, for I have synonymed.

Offerings had been down the past several Sundays and the preacher decided he had to do something to change the trend. The next Sunday, as the plate was being passed he said, "Brothers and Sisters, I don't like to have to do this, but there is a man in the congregation who is having an affair with another parishioner's wife, and if there is not at least five dollars in the collection, I will reveal his name."

Later, as he counted the money he found 20 five dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read, "Forever hold your peace, I'll have that other three dollars before sundown!"

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer and he hear a "Dear Harold."

At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"

The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.'"