religious jokes

A preacher at a Christian school, wanted to point out the proper behavior for church. He was trying to elicit from the youngsters, rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant.

"Don't play with your food," one second grader cited.

"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.

"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" the preacher inquired of one little boy.

Without batting an eye, the child replied, "Order something cheap."

What do you call someone who only believes in 12.5% of the Bible?

An eighth-eist.

Why can’t Satan’s cheerleading squad win any competitions?

Because they have literally no chants in Hell.